Installment 3: Stop Accommodating​ Others

As I get older( lol like I’m so old), I realize more and more about myself. The number one thing I’ve started to notice is that I’m too accommodating. I find myself constantly altering my personality quirks to fit into whatever social group I’m currently in and it annoys me.

In high school, I was that girl who belonged to ten different cliques. I was part of the black girls, the wanna-be-hipsters, the k-pop obsessed, and the super girly crew. Basically, I was a friend to all, and while I loved it, I feel that there were very few people I actually made deep and meaningful friendships with because I was so busy altering myself to fit in a group. While the friends I made in high school will forever be my sisters (all girls school), I want friends that know me straight away. Not ones that I take nearly 7 years to open up to.

I’m writing this posts for others who may feel that this is/was them. You are not the only one.

It’s a challenge and a little bit of a hardship because for me, being everyone’s friend is just part of who I am. I was always nice to people (probably overly nice until I got to know people), therefore I easily gained friends. And while this is great, once I gained those friends, I was too afraid to let too much of my personality show, for the fear that I would scare them off.

I don’t want to be that person anymore. Especially not when I’m entering college and taking my first steps towards adulthood. It’s time that I learn how to stop accommodating others and to be okay with myself. This means saying no more often, even to something simple, if I don’t want to do it. Of course, I will always help a friend out, but I will also start putting me first. That means:

No, I will not help you with your homework due in five minutes that you had two weeks to do even though you are stressing about it because now, you’re stressing me out about.

No, I will not go get that coffee for you when I have something to do that is, sadly, more important than your coffee fixation.

No, I will not talk to this person for you. Learn how to have a hard conversation.

No, I do not think Justin Bieber makes good music.

No, I did not like that movie. It was complete shit.

Basically, no. I will always be nice and try to be friendly, but I’m done doing things for others before doing things for myself. I’m done agreeing, just for the sake of preventing a friend from getting mad at me. I’m done changing myself, so the friends I have continue to like me for what’s on the surface, but never get to fully know me.

If you are like I am, and being yourself has been an issue, I advise you to start thinking of saying no too. We are worth more, and we deserve friends who will tolerate us for who we are and whether we say no or not. Let’s stop being so afraid of losing, and enjoy what we’ve gained in instead.

Thanks for reading this rant ❤ Feel free to share your opinions or experience! Basically, talk to me. This blog needs friends.

-Jess

WTHM: Week 1

For the first week of the Working Towards a Healthier Me series, I have decided that I will post this week’s plans/ goals to hold myself some what accountable and hopefully make it more realistic for me to accomplish by sharing.

I will report my progress at the end of the week!

Exercise Routine:

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I will be trying this routine I found on Pinterest for the week. I may make changes to certain exercises but I will be following this day plan and will write a detailed post on the reps and duration along with how it worked for me at the end of the week.

Food Plan:

I am currently in the middle of renovating my house so I do not have access to a stove. Therefore the plan for this week is to just be as healthy as possible while still ordering things I want. So if I get a burger, I will make sure to substitute my fries with a salad or fruit or something. If I can I will try to make the two recipes pictured below because they can be made in my microwave oven. Also, I will be working in at least 24 oz of water a day (about two deer park bottles).

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Things I Want to Accomplish:

I hope to finish my Python coding class and finish the Spanish course on Duolingo.

 

Freshman Year Part 2: Roommate

I may or may not have said this before but I chose to do random roommate because the searching process to me seemed to fake and didn’t fit my antisocial personality. I have finally gotten into contact with my roommate and she seems amazing and great.

I’m still nervous though, but that’s to be expected. Honestly I just feel like I’m failing at this roommate situation already. Like, should I be reaching out to her more? But I also don’t want to be too clingy. We’ve already set up dorm rules so thats a good step I guess? Should I have waited before picking out the colors for my side of the room?

Still trying to figure it out as I go. If anyone wants to share their roommate stories or their steps in the process so far, feel free to comment below! (still gotta find a way to make my desperate ploy for people to comment less cheesy. Bear with me and my terrible post, I’m still learning :p )

 

Installment 1: Pre-College Jitters

For some reason, I have this notion in my head that everyone is supposed to reinvent themselves for college. I range from moments of being so excited and hyped up to go to moments of incredible fear causing me to want to curl up in my bed and never leave my room. Luckily the moments of excitement out-number the moments of fear.

I’ve decided that sense this is a pivotal moment in my life and others I would share some of my fears and excitements and hope others post their own as we weather out this storm together.

(even number = excitements, odd numbers = fears)

  1. One huge shared bathroom:

I am dead-ass terrified of having to share a bathroom. Why? Because 1. people can be disgusting, 2. No baths, 3. I refuse to sit my ass on a toilet seat that is not my own, 4. The trek back to my room during the winter months will prob be freezing.

2. Moving to Boston

While I am going to miss my hometown, I am excited to live in a city where the public transportation doesn’t suck and I can actually walk places! All the times I have visited Boston, it’s been easy to get around and I just love the feel of the city overall.

3. Freshman 15

Even though I try not to be I can be a little vain and I am relatively happy with the condition of my body right now. That said, I have always bee naturally thin and rarely work out and love to eat so I’m a little nervous of what might happen if I don’t get an exercise regime and eat well.

4. Choosing courses and learning things I’m actually interested about

After 7 years of being bored out of my mind  in history courses I’m so excited to finally start taking courses that relate to my major and choosing other things I just want to learn about to fill my other requirements.

5. Maintaining contact with high school friends

I suck at keeping in touch with people so I’m gonna need to work on that.

6. Sleeping past 8 everyday (no classes before 10:30 wohoo!!!)

Like, no one understands how hype I am about this. I have never in my life imagined getting to wake up after 8 every day. I am so so so happy.

Please share if you have any of these same fears and/ or excitements as well as your own!! Let’s get through this together! *sings high school musical*

Freshman Year Journey: Part 1 Orientation + 6 tips to make it easier

Over my first year of college I will be posting all of what I consider to be major events/ interesting to share and I hope others feel compelled to comment and submit post for me to share about their experiences as well. So here goes the first one. Orientation and class registration!

I am attending BU ( if any of my class mates follow or read this blog do not mention it to me I will die of embarrassment) and recently flew to Boston for my orientation.

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Overall the experience was great yet a little overwhelming. There was so much packed into three short days. I was meeting new friends, meeting deans and advisors, meeting current students, registering for classes, and trying to find a job. Chaotic right?

The most difficult part for me was class registration because I didn’t realize labs and lectures along with whatever else is part of the course was at different times on different days. Completely screwed up my planning haha. But I figured it out and have no classes before 10:30 am! *victory dance*

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Here are a 6 tips that I wish I’d known before going to help others. Feel free to comment your own tips and experience and I will feature you in a later freshman year post!

TIPS TO MAKE ORIENTATION A LITTLE EASIER:

  1. Pack a range of outfits from casual to business casual and suitable for hot weather and cold (think multiple pieces that can be layered). Pay special attention to weather if you are not from that region!
  2. Don’t be afraid to be awkward. There will be awkward pauses and moments when you don’t know what to say when meeting people. Just role with it, it will work out in the end.
  3. For god’s sake don’t do the whole “re invent yourself” thing. I tried. It didn’t work I ended up either  a. feeling dumb or b.just acting like myself in the end.
  4. Have a relatively good idea of the orientation schedule. This avoids being late to events (where I guarantee every eye will turn to you if you walk in late) and also gives you a better idea of what your wardrobe should be.
  5. CHECK THAT YOU BRING YA DAMN CHARGERS! I left my phone charger and had to borrow others cause they were like 23 bucks for an iPhone cord on campus. This didn’t leave enough battery for snapchat and insta photos.
  6. Just have fun. Everyone is there for the first time as a committed student. Everyone is nervous and no one knows what is going on. Just enjoy getting to know people and your campus, let loose (not so loose as to get expelled though), and have fun!

 

Finding Scholarships Part 1

When applying to college, all students are concerned with one thing. The mantra repeats on a loop in their mind. “How do I find money? Where do I get money? Money, money, money, money…” Well I’m here to help and also ruin your life because you are not done applying yet. Now it’s time to start (cue drum roll) applying for  SCHOLARSHIPS!
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All right so now that I have delivered the devastating news that you’re not done applying to stuff, let’s discuss how to find these scholarships.
I’m sure you have already received emails from websites such as Fastweb and Scholarships.com and yes you should sign up for them. It may seem like it will  just be a bunch of unwanted spam mail but trust me, you will be able to find some good stuff from these sites.
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But that is not all, oh no. You need to search more on your own. And don’t be afraid of those essays! There are so many scholarships out there that people don’t apply for simply cause they don’t feel like writing a few more essays and let me be the first to say that is ASININE. FREE FREAKING MONEY IN EXCHANGE FOR A FEW HUNDRED WORDS? HELL YEAH! Trust me when I say you will most likely get so many simply because people will not apply.
So go for it! Apply to those scholarships and get that cash!

 

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*I do not own these images. All were found on google photos.